Here is what makes Malta irresistible:
It’s small but mighty. You can drive from one end of the island to the other in 45 minutes. This is unless, like I did, you get stuck behind a 94 year old driving a donkey cart. There is so much history that you will feel under-educated. We are talking megalithic temples that are older than the pyramids.
We also need to talk about the sun 🌞. SPF 50 is your new best friend. Otherwise, you will end up looking like you are twins with a tomato. Then there are the beaches, with turquoise waters that influences would sell their grandmother for.
Top Spots That Will Knock Your Flip-Flops Off 🩴
1. Valletta – Malta’s Pocket-Sized Capital
Think of Valletta as Europe’s densest history museum—with wine bars. It’s tiny, but every stone slab probably has a story involving knights, pirates, or someone yelling “Gozo isn’t real!”
St. John’s Co-Cathedral – Baroque bling. This cathedral is basically the Sistine Chapel’s extra cousin.
Upper Barrakka Gardens – Absolutely stunning views over the bay and occasional cannon fire. Yes, real cannons. For fun.
**Pro Tip**: Cannon fire is currently performed at midday and 4pm get there early to get a free space on the balcony to watch.
2. Mdina – The City That Forgot to Unmute
Also known as the “Silent City.” Mdina attracts visitors wanting a medieval experience. It’s a place where people go to pretend they’re in a romantic novel. No cars, barely any people, and zero noise—unless your sandals squeak.
**Bonus**: They filmed Game of Thrones here. Walk the streets like the Maltese Queen you are.
3. Comino’s Blue Lagoon – Unreal Levels of Gorgeous
Want to swim in a postcard? The Blue Lagoon is your spot. Turquoise water. White rocks. Also, you can find 800 other tourists with the same idea. Get there early or bring some elbow pads.
**Pro tip**: Bring your own snacks unless you like paying €9 for a hotdog that tastes like regret.
4. Gozo – Malta’s Chilled Out Sibling
Gozo is for people who think Malta is too mainstream. It’s greener, sleepier, and weirdly spiritual.
The Citadel: A giant fort with views for days and the occasional goat wandering by.
Salt Pans: Where locals have harvested salt for centuries, and tourists now take overly artistic selfies.
Food🍝 : Because Everything Is Better When You’re Full
Malta’s food is a chaotic mix. It blends Mediterranean dreams and British hangovers. Here’s what to try:
Pastizzi: Flaky, fatty, cheesy pastries of joy. Warning: These are highly addictive.
Rabbit Stew (Fenkata): Malta’s national dish. Try it before you Google photos of rabbits.
Ftira: Basically Maltese pizza with a tan and better taste.
Kinnie: A bitter orange soda that locals love. You might hate it. Still try it.
What to Do When You’re Not Eating or Floating in the Sea🏖️
Scuba Dive/Snorkeling: Clear water, epic wrecks, and the occasional “Was that a jellyfish or plastic?” moment.
Hike the Cliffs: Especially Dingli Cliffs. Just don’t trip over in your excitement.
Boat Rides: Because nothing says “vacation mode” like a sunburn and an inflatable flamingo.
Quick Tips Before You Pack Your Bags (or Overpack Like Me)🧳
Currency: Euro (€). But your credit card will cry either way.
Language: Maltese and English. Most locals switch between the two mid-sentence, just to keep you guessing.
Driving**: On the left. Like the Brits. But with more honking.
Best Time to Go: April–June or September–October. Summer is beautiful but comes with crowds and the sun trying to kill you.
Final Thoughts
Malta is one of those places that sneaks up on you. One minute you’re on a boat pretending to be in a perfume commercial, the next you’re knee-deep in ancient ruins.
Come for the history, stay for the food, and leave with a sunburn and at least 300 photos of the same beach.
GlobeTrotting Goddess 